Growing up, my dad was full of great advice and I learned much from him about cars, work, relationships, and life in general. One enduring saying was, “There is no such thing as job security – regardless of your position or ownership.”
When my oldest son turned 16, I asked my dad to share his wisdom. He wrote my son a letter of “things every young man should know” and while it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, I absolutely love it and so did my son. A few of my favorites:
- Empty containers should never be put in the refrigerator or cabinet, always leave just a “smidgen” so you can say, “It wasn’t empty!”
- You will never find a girl as pretty as your first truck.
- It is a greater challenge for your parents to survive your teenage years than it is for you.
- All teenage boys are bi-polar…just ask your mom.
- Teenage boys should be afraid of three things: girls, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt you and make it look like it was your fault.
- Remember, when you are between the ages of 15-21, parents are pretty “stupid,” but of life’s greatest mysteries is how they gain so much knowledge by the time you turn 22.
I have the letter where I can see it every day….and my boys still leave just a smidgen.
We asked our Christian & Small family to share their favorite advice or lessons learned from their dads.
Enjoy and Happy Father’s Day.
Christina May Bolin, Mobile Partner
I likely have the distinction of being the only New York Jets fan in the firm. I am convinced that I am actually related to every other Jets fan in South Alabama. That is because of my dad. Dad was a season ticket holder in the post-Namath era. He had season tickets when the Jets played at Shea Stadium and followed the Jets to Jersey when Leon Hess moved the team across state lines. While he never, ever bought so much as another ounce of Hess gasoline, he did continue to follow his team. I went to my first game when I was probably less than a year old and have been following them ever since. It seems like every year we start the season with the hope of a winning season. In the last few years, that hope has been decimated by week 5, yet we persist. Why? Because one thing I have learned from my Dad is that you play to win. That is probably the best legal or professional advice I have ever been given. Even in the worst of cases, I remind myself “No matter what, you don’t give up and you play to win.” And there is always next season.
Eddie Elliott, Partner
I remember my father saying, “Nothing worth doing was ever easy.”
Sarah C. Haslett, Legal Assistant
A few months prior to my 5th-grade graduation, my dad was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s. The graduation ceremony included a steak dinner and dressing up which meant wearing my sister’s heels – a real grown-up event for me. As we were leaving, my mother asked my dad if he had anything to tell me. Expecting to be told how grown up I was or how beautiful I looked, my dad responded with his usual practicality, “Eat small bites.” At this point, he had begun showing signs of the neurodegeneration that would cause his death just three years later. This advice is important to me as it was absolutely typical of his pure practicality. This was the last advice he gave me ….”eat small bites.” As for that steak dinner, my dad needn’t have worried as the steak dinner the school served was none other than a reheated soy burger with watery gravy and rehydrated onions.
Carol Graffeo, Summer Clerk
During my first year of law school, my dad mailed weekly letters that offered guidance on how to keep my head up and stay true to myself. I hope he continues his letters through my legal career.
Robin J. Hawk, Accounting
My dad is old-school and from New Jersey…but he always said: Never let anyone mess with your dignity. If anyone tried to hurt you, pick up the first thing you can get your hands on and hit them with it. Do as I say….not as I do.
Jack K. Kubiszyn, Partner
My dad is big on sports analogies both for life and sports. He loves to remind his kids and grandkids to “Look for the fastball, but expect the curve.” In baseball, you have to look for the fastball first to be ready for it and if you don’t, it is by you before you know it. However, when batting you also have to be able to react to something “different” if you don’t get that fastball. Just like in life, you know the curves will come in your business life and in your personal life….you just don’t know when. Have a plan so you will be ready.
Jim Pattillo, Partner
My dad used to say, “I can resist anything but temptation.” He usually said it when there was a good dessert or treat in the kitchen. It seems like an oxymoron at first, but his point was to not put yourself in situations where you are even tempted to make a questionable decision. I took it as another way of saying avoid even the appearance of impropriety.
Richard E. Smith, Partner
The best advice my father gave me is “if it is money that makes you happy, you will always be a dollar short.”
Sharon D. Stuart, Partner
My dad had so many but my favorites are:
- “Everything in moderation.”
- “Tomorrow’s another day. Sleep on it. You will feel better in the morning.”
- “You can do anything you put your mind to.”
- “Be kind. Be kind. Always be kind.” At age 99 1/2/, he is still saying this and practicing it.
When my kids complain, my husband always told them, “today is the easiest day of the rest of your life.” And when they would say they deserve something they wanted (or didn’t deserve some punishment), he would remind them in his best Clint Eastwood voice that “deserves got nothing to do with it.”
Dan Sparks, Partner
My father is a country lawyer in North Georgia. He told me, “Never take a boundary line case. Somebody usually ends up getting shot, and it could be you.”
David Walston, Partner
On the day I received my law diploma, my father said, “Congratulations on your diploma. You are now an adult and are off the family payroll as of today. You have two weeks to get your ‘stuff’ out of my house.” On the day I started work he told me, “Always remember – you are an ’employee-at-will’ your entire career. As an associate attorney, if you do not do your job to the best of your ability, the firm will fire you. If you make partner, if you do not do your job to the best of your ability, your clients will fire you.”
About Christian & Small
Christian & Small LLP represents a diverse clientele throughout Alabama, the Southeast, and the nation with clients ranging from individuals and closely-held businesses to Fortune 500 corporations. By matching highly experienced lawyers with specific client needs, Christian & Small develops innovative, effective, and efficient solutions for clients. With offices in Birmingham, metro-Jackson, Mississippi, and the Alabama Gulf Coast, Christian & Small focuses on the areas of litigation and business, is a member of the International Society of Primerus Law Firms, and is the only Alabama-based member firm in the Leadership Council on Legal Diversity. Our corporate social responsibility program is focused on education, and diversity is one of Christian & Small’s core values.
No representation is made that the quality of legal services to be performed is greater than the quality of legal services performed by other lawyers.